Me vs The Secretary

Two recent scenarios featuring two elementary schools, two secretaries and two photocopiers.

SCENE 1:
Me - (In general direction of teachers in staff room, including Vice-Principal) How many students are there in the second grade? I need to make some copies. Is that okay?
Random Teacher - There are 28. Here, use this photocopier. Do you need any help?
Me - Thanks, no I'm fine.
Smiles all round.

I stand there and hum while the copier does what it does best. The school secretary approaches.
Secretary - Rosie-sensei, you can't use this machine for large amounts of copies. It is not allowed. Not allowed. Use the other machine in the future.
Me - O-kay...

SCENE 2:
I arrive at school and my class starts in 20 minutes. I approach the Secretary in the office.
Me - Excuse me, I need some copies. Is that okay?
Secretary - Sure.
Me - Could I please have 35 copies of this page.
Secretary - 35 copies?
Me - Yes. That's right. This page.
Secretary - Of this page?
Me - Yes please.
Secretary - So that's 35 copies of this page.
Me - Yes please. Thank you very much.
Secretary - 35 copies of this page on B5 paper. Or would you like A4?
Me - No, B5 is fine. Thank you very much.
Secretary - 35 copies of this page on B5 paper.
Me - Yes, that would be great.
Secretary - Would you like this page as well?
Me - No, thanks. Just this page.
Secretary - You don't need this page too?
Me - No, thank you. Just that is fine.
Secretary - Okay, please wait a moment.
I go back to the room and wait, bowing and onegaishimasu-ing.

10 or so minutes later and no sign of the Secretary. I check back at the office.
Secretary - (running furiously between rooms, book and copies flailing) Please wait a moment Rosie-sensei!

5 minutes later - no sign of Secretary. At all. Children have come down to find out where I am and have been sent back up to the classroom as I aimlessly wander the halls looking for the Secretary.

5 minutes later, I come across the Secretary with my copies. She has laid them out in several piles.
Me - (Gesturing to take the copies and go) Thank you very much!
Secretary - Here is 35 copies. Here are the extras. And here are the copies that didn't come out. And we don't need these ones. (All look identical).
Me - Thank you!

Later that day, realising the Secretary has not given me back the book she made the copies from, I cautiously approach the office...

Me - Excuse me, I'm sorry, do you have the yellow book?
Secretary - Oh, the yellow book. (She starts frantically unearthing the office).
Me - It's okay, Later is fine.
Secretary - No, it's in the copy room. (Runs frantically down the hallway in direction of copy room. I run after her.)

She then proceeds to enlist three other teachers in a frantic search for the yellow book throughout the copy room and teachers room. Yellow book is eventually found next to the microwave.

LESSON - DO NOT PHOTOCOPY!